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DEATH BY SHAKEY CHEESE!
May. 24th, 2016 09:38 pmReally, this story isn't as exciting as it sounds. It was extremely funny when it happened; for those who were there at least. Let's see if you think so too.
The story begins when I traveled with DH across state lines to visit with my erstwhile estranged half-sister. The handy dandy aside: I have half-siblings from both my Mum and Dad, but am the only child between the two; he remarried when I was around two (when 1/2 sis was born); she remarried when I was sixteen.
BACK TO THE STORY!
So here we are, driving onward to a lunch meet with this woman. I'm regaling him with all of the best of our stories. There weren't a large number of them; this was the woman who stole my identity to sign up for one of her multiple Columbia House subscriptions. A woman who cut me off at the knees as a teen when she believed her lying "best" friend who she never spoke to again six months later over another issue.
We arrive. It's her favorite local pizz/pasta place, in honor of that one time we both nearly busted our guts laughing as only teenagers can, with each glance bringing on a gale of new giggles. It goes really well, we're all telling stories to each other to try and find common ground and to make a connection that might last. There was a lot of talk of music, pop-culture references we all had in common, and movies.
The pizza was great, by the way.
Then... I noticed the shakey cheese. By this point in our relationship, I knew what DH (who was then not my DH) liked on his pizza and what he was allergic to. You ever see those traditional, roundish shaking serving containers that they put both the red pepper flakes and the shelf stable parmesan cheese in? He'd been reaching to eat his freshly prepared slice, doctored with flakes & shakey cheese, when I noticed - there was some bluish-green stuff toward the bottom of the shakey cheese. THERE WAS SOME BLUISH-GREEN STUFF AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SHAKEY CHEESE AND DH WAS ALLERGIC TO PENICILLIN!
We found out he isn't, and likely never had been, allergic to penicillin about two months ago, but this episode was YEARS ago when he was still under the impression that MOLD KILLS.
I held up my hand and stopped him from taking a bite of the latest slice. Just before my interruption, we were talking about The Lost Boys and specifically how we all enjoyed one specific line from the movie, "Death by Stereo.".
At first, as you can imagine, we were all filled with shock, and fear, and waiting and watching to see if SOMETHING should occur. How long would it take, for asphyxiation from anaphylactic shock to happen? We waited. Then we waited some more. It finally got to the point where my 1/2 sis and I would stare at my DH, then look at each other, stare at my DH some more, look at each other, stare, look, stare, look. Then we busted out laughing, DH joining us, with our barely legible words of "Death by Shakey Cheese" wheezing out between the bouts of laughter. It got really morbid as we joked about how his obituary would have to be titled Death by Shakey Cheese, and how we'd have to reference the movie, and go off on tangents. But really, it was the Death by Shakey Cheese. It was just like that day back in the 80s where we laughed so much, in a pizza joint, that we got pains in our sides and nearly fell on the floor out of our chairs.
That was a good day, and there were a few meetings after that that were also good. But then she got mad about something without telling me that she was (1) upset or (2) what it was that upset her. Then this happened.
As a follow-up, in December 2014 I finally found out what had upset her so much. What had her so mad at me since June 2010. When I was getting married to DH, we had originally been talking about the usual size people make things. I sent out informal save the dates to friends and family, given that we knew the date, we just didn't know the details. We'd originally planned to marry back in 2003, but primarily from not wanting to affect my financial aid, my need to finish my returning adult college education, and finding out the COST... we put it on hold and decided to have a long engagement. We find out that the cost was still way too high for us, that we'd rather use the money for more important (to us) things. We ended up with only ten people there. Immediate, close family and friends. My Mum, his parents, my 1/2 sibs on my Mum's side (who I helped raise and was more like a beloved aunt), his brother and three of our long-time friends. Everyone else who got cut from the guest list understood the need to pare down the event. All these save-the-date and cancellation notices were done via email, my preferred mode of communication.
It wasn't until the middle of this past December that she finally let the anger out. "You don't send someone a save-the-date and then don't invite them to the wedding or at least have the decency to call and explain why." This? This after knowing from previous conversation how I communicate with people, how I don't like talking on the phone with most people, especially family. This angry burst of text came out of her after I wouldn't give her an address that she should've already had so she could tell my other 1/2 sib, her brother, so he could supposedly update his security clearance. I wouldn't because she had had her phone and email account hacked multiple times over the years. I got a huge long set of texts venting her anger at me, her shouting that she got married two years ago and how she never bothered to contact me because she wanted to get back at me and she was still angry... It was a veritable spewing geyser. And I haven't heard since.
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST GOING TO GET A FUNNY STORY, YOU GET ALL KINDS OF COMPLICATED UNDER- AND OVER-TONES. THAT'S LIFE, HUH?
The story begins when I traveled with DH across state lines to visit with my erstwhile estranged half-sister. The handy dandy aside: I have half-siblings from both my Mum and Dad, but am the only child between the two; he remarried when I was around two (when 1/2 sis was born); she remarried when I was sixteen.
BACK TO THE STORY!
So here we are, driving onward to a lunch meet with this woman. I'm regaling him with all of the best of our stories. There weren't a large number of them; this was the woman who stole my identity to sign up for one of her multiple Columbia House subscriptions. A woman who cut me off at the knees as a teen when she believed her lying "best" friend who she never spoke to again six months later over another issue.
We arrive. It's her favorite local pizz/pasta place, in honor of that one time we both nearly busted our guts laughing as only teenagers can, with each glance bringing on a gale of new giggles. It goes really well, we're all telling stories to each other to try and find common ground and to make a connection that might last. There was a lot of talk of music, pop-culture references we all had in common, and movies.
The pizza was great, by the way.
Then... I noticed the shakey cheese. By this point in our relationship, I knew what DH (who was then not my DH) liked on his pizza and what he was allergic to. You ever see those traditional, roundish shaking serving containers that they put both the red pepper flakes and the shelf stable parmesan cheese in? He'd been reaching to eat his freshly prepared slice, doctored with flakes & shakey cheese, when I noticed - there was some bluish-green stuff toward the bottom of the shakey cheese. THERE WAS SOME BLUISH-GREEN STUFF AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SHAKEY CHEESE AND DH WAS ALLERGIC TO PENICILLIN!
We found out he isn't, and likely never had been, allergic to penicillin about two months ago, but this episode was YEARS ago when he was still under the impression that MOLD KILLS.
I held up my hand and stopped him from taking a bite of the latest slice. Just before my interruption, we were talking about The Lost Boys and specifically how we all enjoyed one specific line from the movie, "Death by Stereo.".
At first, as you can imagine, we were all filled with shock, and fear, and waiting and watching to see if SOMETHING should occur. How long would it take, for asphyxiation from anaphylactic shock to happen? We waited. Then we waited some more. It finally got to the point where my 1/2 sis and I would stare at my DH, then look at each other, stare at my DH some more, look at each other, stare, look, stare, look. Then we busted out laughing, DH joining us, with our barely legible words of "Death by Shakey Cheese" wheezing out between the bouts of laughter. It got really morbid as we joked about how his obituary would have to be titled Death by Shakey Cheese, and how we'd have to reference the movie, and go off on tangents. But really, it was the Death by Shakey Cheese. It was just like that day back in the 80s where we laughed so much, in a pizza joint, that we got pains in our sides and nearly fell on the floor out of our chairs.
That was a good day, and there were a few meetings after that that were also good. But then she got mad about something without telling me that she was (1) upset or (2) what it was that upset her. Then this happened.
As a follow-up, in December 2014 I finally found out what had upset her so much. What had her so mad at me since June 2010. When I was getting married to DH, we had originally been talking about the usual size people make things. I sent out informal save the dates to friends and family, given that we knew the date, we just didn't know the details. We'd originally planned to marry back in 2003, but primarily from not wanting to affect my financial aid, my need to finish my returning adult college education, and finding out the COST... we put it on hold and decided to have a long engagement. We find out that the cost was still way too high for us, that we'd rather use the money for more important (to us) things. We ended up with only ten people there. Immediate, close family and friends. My Mum, his parents, my 1/2 sibs on my Mum's side (who I helped raise and was more like a beloved aunt), his brother and three of our long-time friends. Everyone else who got cut from the guest list understood the need to pare down the event. All these save-the-date and cancellation notices were done via email, my preferred mode of communication.
It wasn't until the middle of this past December that she finally let the anger out. "You don't send someone a save-the-date and then don't invite them to the wedding or at least have the decency to call and explain why." This? This after knowing from previous conversation how I communicate with people, how I don't like talking on the phone with most people, especially family. This angry burst of text came out of her after I wouldn't give her an address that she should've already had so she could tell my other 1/2 sib, her brother, so he could supposedly update his security clearance. I wouldn't because she had had her phone and email account hacked multiple times over the years. I got a huge long set of texts venting her anger at me, her shouting that she got married two years ago and how she never bothered to contact me because she wanted to get back at me and she was still angry... It was a veritable spewing geyser. And I haven't heard since.
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST GOING TO GET A FUNNY STORY, YOU GET ALL KINDS OF COMPLICATED UNDER- AND OVER-TONES. THAT'S LIFE, HUH?
