Fuckity Fuck Fuck

[semiotic_pirate]

My grandmother is in the hospital.

A few weeks ago or so she had been in, for falling down and bruising her hip. She got out a week or so ago... (Can you tell my family doesn't communicate well within the ranks?)

I just found out that she is again in the hospital, by accident, though I would've found out about twenty minutes after I did when my Mum called on her way back from the hospital.

Apparently she's had Emphysema for at least ten years, had a partial lungectomy at the time... Along with COPD and CHF. Duh, I was an EMT, I dealt with patients who had these diseases, she was a very long term smoker I thought she was just genetically "lucky" not to get lung cancer.

Grrrrr! Now, she's got a lung infection, she's on a ventilator, sedated with morphine (unconscious through medication or otherwise) and...

OMG. *shock*

No one (even my cousin's father, who was at the hospital today, and he had even called his stepmother and she didn't tell him) told my cousin, and I had talked to him the other day so I called him to make sure he knew. He hadn't been contacted by anyone.

We chatted about the quirks of our family, we talked about the various relatives and so forth... especially a particular aunt. And then we enjoyed reminiscing about our great-grandparents.

*large mournful sigh*

I just called in "sick" for the first time with my new job - I told them what was happening. My manager was very understanding.

I wonder what would be worse. Her dying, or her living, especially given what I now know about her medical condition. At least I talked to her and had a really good phone conversation with her just before she went into the hospital the first time. She was spunky and happy from the convo, even called my Mum and praised me and all that... *embarrassed look*

On top of everything else, but this is actually (I don't understand why) giving me some sort of strength.

Comments

[portia.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. :o(

My Dad has all of those smoking-related diseases, along with a heart attack or two. Lung infections suck - he said it feels like you are drowning (can't get any air.) He is doing as well as can be expected considering he smoked 4 packs a day for almost 50 years.

[semiotic-pirate.livejournal.com]

thanks for the support. she's still under, but she's coughing up the gunk from her lungs, and the infection may be clearing up (haven't gotten an update the last day) and we are all hoping that since her color is good that when they ease up the sedation after the infection clears she'll come out of it.

her being on a machine to keep her breathing doesn't fill me with confidence though.

I'll be sad if she dies but I know that she enjoyed her life and that we had a good relationship right up until the end. No regrets.

I'm glad you still have your Dad and that you can talk with him about it. I had no idea that she had any of these issues and wish my family communicated a lot better because the shock of this wouldn't have been as bad otherwise.

OT: How's that kinda still new sorta job going for you?

[portia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm glad my Dad is still here to talk shit with me. :o) He's the main reason I moved back to Ohio. I fear he won't be around much longer so I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I try not to think about him dying but every time I see him I notice how much of an "old" guy he has turned into, even when he has good days.
___

I <3 my new job - thanks for asking! It's great for someone nosey, er... curious, like myself to be able to see all the nasty & crooked stuff people are up to. :o)

[o-foruse-o.livejournal.com]

she's still under, but

I was just going to ask if she's better by now. Your comment sounds as if she is.

I'll be sad if she dies but I know that she enjoyed her life and that we had a good relationship right up until the end. No regrets.

Imho, glad you have this attitude. How much more can one want for anyone, than to have enjoyed their life?