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I found this claptrap on iVillage after trying to find some fun quizzes to take to pass the time and cull awesome images for icons from. I think that most if not all of these could go either way, male, female, any gender you wish to claim, these nitpickings could be annoying in any individual. I will try to put all the links that exist within the original article. Ahhh, it is brought into iVillage from askmen.com.
BTW: don't be alarmed if I start out snarky and end up infuriated by the time I'm finished the point by point critique of the article... it deserves it. And I will edit this in the morning when I'm more awake, the CoB is calling me. At least I spell-checked it. *wink* Yes. I know that this is about generalized behaviorisms, but aren't those the same as stereotypes?
EDIT: Hopefully fixed all my html. Can't retreive all the links if they're broken however, I just did the typical "copy link location" and then pasted that into a link in my dialogue.
Oh, I also found some interesting stuff on open marriages - not that I'm considering asking CoB about them, I find it an interesting theoretical question. I am too possessive, or rather I've been cheated on too many times to even consider letting my baggage take me by surprise by putting myself in such a vulnerable position. Here are some very interesting comments on that article, some insightful and others oppressive.
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Men love women. The way they look, smell, walk and talk are just some of the reasons why we consider them a divine species. Yet we can't live with them, and we certainly can't live without them...
...for the most part anyway, because perfect, they are not. And upon serious analysis, I've discovered the top 10 things women do that drive men to the brink of insanity.
10. Pretend to be virtuous
A recurring theme among many women is that they try to place themselves under a "holier than thou" light, never admitting that they fooled around or dividing their number of boyfriends by five. Now, we applaud those ladies who truly are innocent and pure, but the rest should stop trying to water down their past. Women are allowed to have just as much fun as guys, and they should find a man who can appreciate that.
Okay, I have an immediate problem with this. Mainly because of the alive and well whore/madonna complex that women have to be aware of with every man they meet. For centuries the advice to women has been, men want you to be pure, virgins, etcetera. If you look closely, you will see the author of this "applaud those ladies" where as the rest of us are... what? True, the longer we hold ourselves accountable to a created dichotomy instead of just denying it from the start the longer we will have to deal with it as a relationship issue. Hidden message, learn to act better so you are BELIEVED when you say you are innocent and pure, or act holier than thou. Besides, is virtuousity limited to being "pure and innocent" or can it include being generous of spirit, conducting your life in an ethical manner and so forth?
9. Criticize other women
Why is it that many women can't make a simple compliment toward another woman? They love to nitpick about everything from weight to hairstyle and everything in between. Only a woman will notice if another woman's shoes don't match her purse and turn it into a calamity.
Granted there are some women who are readily willing to admit when another woman is hot (and hopefully invite her over for a ménage à trois), but most don't want to distract their men with any competition. Nevertheless, we spot the hot ones anyway.
So where's the turnaround on this? If we are willing to admit other women are hot, why can't they admit when other men are hot? Because it doesn't play into their fantasy world. Which is definitely affirmed by the follow-up - and inevitable - comment about the ménage à trois. Because if they say "wow, he's hot, huh?" they run the risk of being called teh gay. This is one of the things I am thankful about CoB, he's not afraid to agree with me about other men being hot. Still working on him pointing them out to me though.
8. Act jealous
Oftentimes, just mentioning another woman's name can spell the end of your existence. Imagine, then, the warfare you'll have to endure if she finds out you were at a gentleman's club.
Call it what you will, but a lot of women have this thing that causes them to second-guess everything, especially their man's loyalty. That's why when another female enters the equation in any way, shape or form, she tenses up. If you've given her reason to doubt you, then her paranoia is likely justified. Otherwise, you shouldn't have to pay the price because she's feeling insecure.
Gentleman's Club?! What the hell? Just call a cat-house a strip-club and be done with it. Gentleman's Club, at the very least implies something with a little more... I don’t know, at the least, a fashionable burlesque show that, if you didn't have a madonna/whore complex you would want to bring your woman to one of these places to get her hot (if that would do it at least) instead of hiding it or trying to glamorize it or... GARRRHHH! Nice contradiction with the earlier one about threesomes.
7. Become needy
Some women have some serious security issues. They need their men to hold them, rub them and tell them how special they are. They turn men into their emotional crutch and look to us for moral, mental and emotional support.
There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show us how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love. Of course, as tempting as it may be to use this to our advantage, I think most men would prefer the tougher version. This way, they'd at least retain some peace of mind.
Wait... What? So the implication here is that ALL women become insecure and use men as emotional crutches ALL THE TIME? I mean, everyone, both male and female, get insecure about stuff (especially relationship stuff) at one time or another. Look at how easy it is to miscommunicate something to someone else with that "gossip" game where you have a large circle of people, one person starts it by saying a single sentence to the person next to them and by the time it gets to the person on their other side it is a completely different sentence. SHEESH. It is about trust, both the building and maintenance of as well as interpretation of perspective.
6. Speak in code
The old "What are you thinking?" question is a timeless example of how women love to test their men and search for our true feelings about them. They hurtle obscure, theoretical questions at us that, according to them, we're supposed to know the answers to if we're really their soul mates.
What a pitiful sight it is, seeing a guy tense up as his mind goes into overdrive, looking for the right answer, while his lady looks on from a distance with her arms folded and foot tapping. At this point, there's nothing left to do except throw an answer out there and hope we don't end up in the doghouse.
Both men and women, or what have you as either partner in a relationship can be guilty of code-speaking. When you expect your mate to read your mind in order to know what is wrong or what your expectations are about the relationship... that's a prime example of a communication issue. Got to love these things, neh?
5. Invade our personal space
Women have this instinctive tic that makes them want to groom us anytime they want and make our personal belongings theirs.
In other words, when they're not adjusting our tie for the umpteenth time, they're rummaging through our drawers, looking for a sweatshirt to change into. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? We all know that there would be hell to pay if we so much as thought about giving them a haircut or sorting through their stuff, so why is it that our turf is fair game?
Reminds me of a line from that old scifi channel gem Farscape: "My side, your side!" I continually, as the one known in my relationship as "splodeykins" have to reiterate my need to leave my stuff where it is because I know where it all is but if you move it I get confused, so please don't move it, I'll get to the de-sploding eventually. Even though I know that I will splode again. HA. Again. This can go for either or in the relationship, or should it be called the realationship? This one is right up there with the fact that you cannot get into a relationship- expecting the other person to make major personality changes for you, or that you can "change them" and mold them into your perfect mate. Perfection doesn’t exist in this oh-so-real world.
4. Become too emotional
They cry over anything: a sad movie (or even a happy one), a broken nail or a haircut gone awry. What's worse, they expect us to clean up the emotional mess. And if there's one thing we suck at, it's dealing with a crying woman on our shoulder.
It's not that we're insensitive, but aside from saying, "There there, sweetie," we don't know the first thing about comforting a woman. The fact that women are usually more delicate and vulnerable is great; we just don't want the steady stream of tears for every minor setback.
Hush, who amongst us really cries over anything? (not counting those with emotional instabilities due to hormonal disruptions and so forth.) Is this a poke at women's allowance by society to cry, whatever the cause may be, to make up for the fact that men are STILL expected to be stoic about their life-events and not to cry? As for comforting a woman, it is the same as it always has been. Hug. Listen - and I mean LISTEN not nod with the eyes glazed over because there WILL be a quiz after we're done pouring out why we cried, if we even feel the need to explain the why to you. That last sentence is utter bullshit and is insightful into this particular male's views on the female of the species.
3. Shop till they drop
When it comes to shopping, there just aren't enough hours in the day for most women. Whether it's browsing, window-shopping or an all-out spending spree, they can spend hours on end in a shoe store, among others, without even thinking about food, water or any of their responsibilities.
But what's worse is that they have to take us along for the ride. So there we go, from store to store, wandering aimlessly back and forth while they inspect every article of clothing by its respective price tag.
Wow. This guy is sending the hackles up incessantly here. What other responsibilities are being referred to here? The woman's responsibilities to her man? You've covered food and water, yeah, those are necessities, not responsibilities. And you should appreciate a woman who values your opinion enough to tote you along. You notice that when she asks you to come you can say no, right? Oh, that's right, we'll cry if you do because we are so insecure and over-emotional. This article should be linked to the MYTHS MEN BELIEVE ABOUT WOMEN, which should change it's title to Myths Unenlightened Men Believe About Women.
2. Talk incessantly
Chris Rock nailed it when he said that asking how her day went renders a 45-minute conversation. Most women love to talk, and if you give them the ammo, they won't stop. It's not that we don't care about what they have to say; it's just that we don't need to hear every minute detail.
Renders? Does he mean engenders? And hell, if you ask how the day went, that means you want me to tell you about my day! OY. Because a glib "Fine. Yours" makes you automatically think there is something wrong or we are hiding something. Oh, wait, that's a stereotype isn't it? *wink*
1. Use sex as a weapon
In the war of the sexes, it's all about who wears the pants in the relationship. Oftentimes most women, in an effort to show their superiority, will attack men's universal weak spot: sex.
And while I applaud them for this gutsy tactic, they really should leave the basic human needs alone, don't you think?
Okay, if you are listening, you don't use the line War of the Sexes because if you do, you perpetuate the status-quo. Sex has been and will continue to be used as a weapon by both males and females because it is a handy and easy weapon to use. Plus it has been the perennial weapon of choice for women who have been trained to be passive-aggressive because outright aggression is taught to be a no-no and only the domain of the whore/bad-girl that they are supposed to avoid being in order to keep their man because they think they are supposed to be the madonna/good-girl who doesn't really like sex anyways. Oh, and don't forget about men withholding affection as a similar number one. And who said sex was a basic human need? Are those one of the responsibilities you are referring to above? I thought food, water, and shelter were basic human needs?
Learn to Tolerate
In the grand scheme of things, women's annoying habits aren't that bad. Chances are you'll adapt to them in time, as will she when it comes to your annoying tendencies. Nobody's perfect, and I think that's something we can all agree on.
-----------------------------------------------------------
And here are some more chestnuts for the fire:
10 Things Your Guy Never Wants to Hear You Say Never? Wouldn't that depend on the seriousness of the relationship on both sides of the gender divide, and for all relationship types for that matter?
10 Things Guys Don't Want You to Know
10 Signs He's About to Cheat
Are You High-Maintenance? How Guys Decide
10 Things a Man Fears Most about Marriage
7 Myths Men Believe About Women This one is a cake topper, that proverbial "cherry" on top of the sundae. Though I like the fact that they start with this: "Well guys, as much as you don't like to be unfairly stereotyped, neither do women. To really understand women means to see us as we really are, not as we've been portrayed to be."
Do men care if their partner earns more money than they do? I would think the answer to this is obvious, only if the higher earner holds it over the lower earner's head. That goes both ways, and is something women have been dealing with for centuries. The good thing is that they actually try to address the provider-lizard versus the partner-frontal-lobe.
And many, many more on their Y-Chromosome Clues section/site at iVillage. I remember when it started out too. Not at all happy with this resulting change am I. They link a lot to Cosmopolitan and AskMen.com, both of which disparage each other though I wouldn't be surprised if they were owned by the same corporation. I couldn't figure out if iVillage had any of their own content or if it was all farmed out to a variety of status-quo-supporting media sources.
BTW: don't be alarmed if I start out snarky and end up infuriated by the time I'm finished the point by point critique of the article... it deserves it. And I will edit this in the morning when I'm more awake, the CoB is calling me. At least I spell-checked it. *wink* Yes. I know that this is about generalized behaviorisms, but aren't those the same as stereotypes?
EDIT: Hopefully fixed all my html. Can't retreive all the links if they're broken however, I just did the typical "copy link location" and then pasted that into a link in my dialogue.
Oh, I also found some interesting stuff on open marriages - not that I'm considering asking CoB about them, I find it an interesting theoretical question. I am too possessive, or rather I've been cheated on too many times to even consider letting my baggage take me by surprise by putting myself in such a vulnerable position. Here are some very interesting comments on that article, some insightful and others oppressive.
---------------------------------------------------------
Men love women. The way they look, smell, walk and talk are just some of the reasons why we consider them a divine species. Yet we can't live with them, and we certainly can't live without them...
...for the most part anyway, because perfect, they are not. And upon serious analysis, I've discovered the top 10 things women do that drive men to the brink of insanity.
10. Pretend to be virtuous
A recurring theme among many women is that they try to place themselves under a "holier than thou" light, never admitting that they fooled around or dividing their number of boyfriends by five. Now, we applaud those ladies who truly are innocent and pure, but the rest should stop trying to water down their past. Women are allowed to have just as much fun as guys, and they should find a man who can appreciate that.
Okay, I have an immediate problem with this. Mainly because of the alive and well whore/madonna complex that women have to be aware of with every man they meet. For centuries the advice to women has been, men want you to be pure, virgins, etcetera. If you look closely, you will see the author of this "applaud those ladies" where as the rest of us are... what? True, the longer we hold ourselves accountable to a created dichotomy instead of just denying it from the start the longer we will have to deal with it as a relationship issue. Hidden message, learn to act better so you are BELIEVED when you say you are innocent and pure, or act holier than thou. Besides, is virtuousity limited to being "pure and innocent" or can it include being generous of spirit, conducting your life in an ethical manner and so forth?
9. Criticize other women
Why is it that many women can't make a simple compliment toward another woman? They love to nitpick about everything from weight to hairstyle and everything in between. Only a woman will notice if another woman's shoes don't match her purse and turn it into a calamity.
Granted there are some women who are readily willing to admit when another woman is hot (and hopefully invite her over for a ménage à trois), but most don't want to distract their men with any competition. Nevertheless, we spot the hot ones anyway.
So where's the turnaround on this? If we are willing to admit other women are hot, why can't they admit when other men are hot? Because it doesn't play into their fantasy world. Which is definitely affirmed by the follow-up - and inevitable - comment about the ménage à trois. Because if they say "wow, he's hot, huh?" they run the risk of being called teh gay. This is one of the things I am thankful about CoB, he's not afraid to agree with me about other men being hot. Still working on him pointing them out to me though.
8. Act jealous
Oftentimes, just mentioning another woman's name can spell the end of your existence. Imagine, then, the warfare you'll have to endure if she finds out you were at a gentleman's club.
Call it what you will, but a lot of women have this thing that causes them to second-guess everything, especially their man's loyalty. That's why when another female enters the equation in any way, shape or form, she tenses up. If you've given her reason to doubt you, then her paranoia is likely justified. Otherwise, you shouldn't have to pay the price because she's feeling insecure.
Gentleman's Club?! What the hell? Just call a cat-house a strip-club and be done with it. Gentleman's Club, at the very least implies something with a little more... I don’t know, at the least, a fashionable burlesque show that, if you didn't have a madonna/whore complex you would want to bring your woman to one of these places to get her hot (if that would do it at least) instead of hiding it or trying to glamorize it or... GARRRHHH! Nice contradiction with the earlier one about threesomes.
7. Become needy
Some women have some serious security issues. They need their men to hold them, rub them and tell them how special they are. They turn men into their emotional crutch and look to us for moral, mental and emotional support.
There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show us how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love. Of course, as tempting as it may be to use this to our advantage, I think most men would prefer the tougher version. This way, they'd at least retain some peace of mind.
Wait... What? So the implication here is that ALL women become insecure and use men as emotional crutches ALL THE TIME? I mean, everyone, both male and female, get insecure about stuff (especially relationship stuff) at one time or another. Look at how easy it is to miscommunicate something to someone else with that "gossip" game where you have a large circle of people, one person starts it by saying a single sentence to the person next to them and by the time it gets to the person on their other side it is a completely different sentence. SHEESH. It is about trust, both the building and maintenance of as well as interpretation of perspective.
6. Speak in code
The old "What are you thinking?" question is a timeless example of how women love to test their men and search for our true feelings about them. They hurtle obscure, theoretical questions at us that, according to them, we're supposed to know the answers to if we're really their soul mates.
What a pitiful sight it is, seeing a guy tense up as his mind goes into overdrive, looking for the right answer, while his lady looks on from a distance with her arms folded and foot tapping. At this point, there's nothing left to do except throw an answer out there and hope we don't end up in the doghouse.
Both men and women, or what have you as either partner in a relationship can be guilty of code-speaking. When you expect your mate to read your mind in order to know what is wrong or what your expectations are about the relationship... that's a prime example of a communication issue. Got to love these things, neh?
5. Invade our personal space
Women have this instinctive tic that makes them want to groom us anytime they want and make our personal belongings theirs.
In other words, when they're not adjusting our tie for the umpteenth time, they're rummaging through our drawers, looking for a sweatshirt to change into. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? We all know that there would be hell to pay if we so much as thought about giving them a haircut or sorting through their stuff, so why is it that our turf is fair game?
Reminds me of a line from that old scifi channel gem Farscape: "My side, your side!" I continually, as the one known in my relationship as "splodeykins" have to reiterate my need to leave my stuff where it is because I know where it all is but if you move it I get confused, so please don't move it, I'll get to the de-sploding eventually. Even though I know that I will splode again. HA. Again. This can go for either or in the relationship, or should it be called the realationship? This one is right up there with the fact that you cannot get into a relationship- expecting the other person to make major personality changes for you, or that you can "change them" and mold them into your perfect mate. Perfection doesn’t exist in this oh-so-real world.
4. Become too emotional
They cry over anything: a sad movie (or even a happy one), a broken nail or a haircut gone awry. What's worse, they expect us to clean up the emotional mess. And if there's one thing we suck at, it's dealing with a crying woman on our shoulder.
It's not that we're insensitive, but aside from saying, "There there, sweetie," we don't know the first thing about comforting a woman. The fact that women are usually more delicate and vulnerable is great; we just don't want the steady stream of tears for every minor setback.
Hush, who amongst us really cries over anything? (not counting those with emotional instabilities due to hormonal disruptions and so forth.) Is this a poke at women's allowance by society to cry, whatever the cause may be, to make up for the fact that men are STILL expected to be stoic about their life-events and not to cry? As for comforting a woman, it is the same as it always has been. Hug. Listen - and I mean LISTEN not nod with the eyes glazed over because there WILL be a quiz after we're done pouring out why we cried, if we even feel the need to explain the why to you. That last sentence is utter bullshit and is insightful into this particular male's views on the female of the species.
3. Shop till they drop
When it comes to shopping, there just aren't enough hours in the day for most women. Whether it's browsing, window-shopping or an all-out spending spree, they can spend hours on end in a shoe store, among others, without even thinking about food, water or any of their responsibilities.
But what's worse is that they have to take us along for the ride. So there we go, from store to store, wandering aimlessly back and forth while they inspect every article of clothing by its respective price tag.
Wow. This guy is sending the hackles up incessantly here. What other responsibilities are being referred to here? The woman's responsibilities to her man? You've covered food and water, yeah, those are necessities, not responsibilities. And you should appreciate a woman who values your opinion enough to tote you along. You notice that when she asks you to come you can say no, right? Oh, that's right, we'll cry if you do because we are so insecure and over-emotional. This article should be linked to the MYTHS MEN BELIEVE ABOUT WOMEN, which should change it's title to Myths Unenlightened Men Believe About Women.
2. Talk incessantly
Chris Rock nailed it when he said that asking how her day went renders a 45-minute conversation. Most women love to talk, and if you give them the ammo, they won't stop. It's not that we don't care about what they have to say; it's just that we don't need to hear every minute detail.
Renders? Does he mean engenders? And hell, if you ask how the day went, that means you want me to tell you about my day! OY. Because a glib "Fine. Yours" makes you automatically think there is something wrong or we are hiding something. Oh, wait, that's a stereotype isn't it? *wink*
1. Use sex as a weapon
In the war of the sexes, it's all about who wears the pants in the relationship. Oftentimes most women, in an effort to show their superiority, will attack men's universal weak spot: sex.
And while I applaud them for this gutsy tactic, they really should leave the basic human needs alone, don't you think?
Okay, if you are listening, you don't use the line War of the Sexes because if you do, you perpetuate the status-quo. Sex has been and will continue to be used as a weapon by both males and females because it is a handy and easy weapon to use. Plus it has been the perennial weapon of choice for women who have been trained to be passive-aggressive because outright aggression is taught to be a no-no and only the domain of the whore/bad-girl that they are supposed to avoid being in order to keep their man because they think they are supposed to be the madonna/good-girl who doesn't really like sex anyways. Oh, and don't forget about men withholding affection as a similar number one. And who said sex was a basic human need? Are those one of the responsibilities you are referring to above? I thought food, water, and shelter were basic human needs?
Learn to Tolerate
In the grand scheme of things, women's annoying habits aren't that bad. Chances are you'll adapt to them in time, as will she when it comes to your annoying tendencies. Nobody's perfect, and I think that's something we can all agree on.
-----------------------------------------------------------
And here are some more chestnuts for the fire:
10 Things Your Guy Never Wants to Hear You Say Never? Wouldn't that depend on the seriousness of the relationship on both sides of the gender divide, and for all relationship types for that matter?
10 Things Guys Don't Want You to Know
10 Signs He's About to Cheat
Are You High-Maintenance? How Guys Decide
10 Things a Man Fears Most about Marriage
7 Myths Men Believe About Women This one is a cake topper, that proverbial "cherry" on top of the sundae. Though I like the fact that they start with this: "Well guys, as much as you don't like to be unfairly stereotyped, neither do women. To really understand women means to see us as we really are, not as we've been portrayed to be."
Do men care if their partner earns more money than they do? I would think the answer to this is obvious, only if the higher earner holds it over the lower earner's head. That goes both ways, and is something women have been dealing with for centuries. The good thing is that they actually try to address the provider-lizard versus the partner-frontal-lobe.
And many, many more on their Y-Chromosome Clues section/site at iVillage. I remember when it started out too. Not at all happy with this resulting change am I. They link a lot to Cosmopolitan and AskMen.com, both of which disparage each other though I wouldn't be surprised if they were owned by the same corporation. I couldn't figure out if iVillage had any of their own content or if it was all farmed out to a variety of status-quo-supporting media sources.
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