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May. 20th, 2016
XO Jane’s publishing of a despicable article titled “My Former Friend’s Death Was a Blessing” was a watershed moment for many people.
[Edit: There is a reason for both my choice of "mood" and currently playing music. Read on and you too shall know.]
The original article was posted to the site sometime on 5/19/16, likely in the morning. Thanks to our handy dandy Wayback Machine, here’s an early cache of the article, in case you want to see what people were upset about.
Here’s what is in the place of the article on XO Jane’s site now; specifically a notice of retraction and an apology from the site’s owner for having the temerity to post it without much oversight to begin with.
The problem was, taking down the article WASN’T the first thing XO Jane did when requested. First, they deleted the byline of Amanda Lauren to try to muddy the waters. That was done sometime between midnight and 7am EST on 5/20/16. Then the site turned the comments off… It wasn’t until it blew up quite a bit more on the vast arrays of tubes and wires through which we all communicate that it was finally taken down and that that apology was posted in place of the article. One has to wonder if the original draft to XO Jane didn’t even use a pseudonym for this alleged former friend. I predict that, as the apology is picked apart word by word, that the apology itself may undergo multiple revisions. I shouldn’t have said that… Apparently it already has gone through two published editions, according to Death and Taxes Mag.
MY FIRST REACTION TO READING THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE WAS TO REMEMBER THAT MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH AND TO WONDER WHETHER WE WERE ALL PRANKED AS A WAY FOR US ALL TO SEE THE ARTICLE, TALK SHIT ABOUT IT, AND IN THE PROCESS MAKE SOME REAL PROGRESS IN DEMYSTIFYING AND DESTIGMATIZING MENTAL ILLNESS. BUT NO, THAT ISN’T XOJANE’S STYLE.
The responses to the article being put out there by a variety of people were, on the whole, fantastic. There were many, many shouts of outrage, bouts of diarrheic vitriol, moments of introspection, vociferously worded petitions to take down the article, and other reactions that were generated in response to the article. It has been amazing, the outpouring of heartfelt feels. Most of the responses were written approximately 24 hours that the article was live on the site in either its attributable form or in its anonymous form.
Without listed them in order of when they encountered the article itself, these are some of the ones that I read today.
http://gomiblog.com/amanda-lauren-is-glad-youre-dead/
https://ajgoode.com/2016/05/20/my-response-to-xojane/
http://jezebel.com/xojane-publishes-terrible-article-by-a-woman-who-s-glad-1777778960?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+jezebel%2Ffull+%28Jezebel%29
https://medium.com/@melissamcewen/an-open-letter-to-xojane-about-my-former-friends-death-was-a-blessing-facdad00cfce#.c6eyakunh
http://jezebel.com/xojane-publishes-terrible-article-by-a-woman-who-s-glad-1777778960
http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/291339/xojane-amanda-lauren-my-ex-friend-is-dead-garbage/
http://themighty.com/2016/05/response-to-xojane-article-my-former-friends-death-was-a-blessing/
https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2016/05/20/open-letter-to-amanda-lauren-from-someone-beyond-help/
https://madgirlslament.com/2016/05/20/suicide-is-never-a-blessing/
http://www.hercampus.com/life/its-not-blessing-when-mentally-ill-people-die
https://haphazardcoffee.com/2016/05/20/i-have-schizophrenia-and-i-do-have-something-to-live-for/
http://www.pajiba.com/think_pieces/xojane-publishes-a-post-about-being-happy-a-mentally-ill-woman-died-alone.php
https://samambreen.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/we-are-none-of-us-beyond-hope/
http://www.mediaite.com/online/everyone-angry-over-that-xojane-piece-celebrating-a-mentally-ill-womans-death-is-right/
My absolute favorites were the ones where people chose to use the moment to introspectively tell us about their own, personal experiences will mental illness and their battle with suicidal ideation. While I was out searching and reading these articles, I found some more really great people who existence I am happy to learn coincide with mine on this earth.
What got me started on this relatively mild diatribe (The outrage speaks for itself, doesn't it?) was reading the discussion started by my friend Rob, aka @UnseenPerfidy. THANKS ROB – MY BRAIN NEEDED THIS EVALUATION, EXAMINATION, AND REAFFIRMATION BUCKSHOT OF POSITIVE OUTPOURINGS OF SUPPORT BY ALL THE STRANGE AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET.
Note: another article was brought to my attention by this reddit thread where the one was noted as seeming really strange. Part of that is, I think, the remaining, underlying guilt the author still feels about the friend’s suicide and her own survival from an attempted suicide.
Survivor's Guilt is a bitch in spike heels doing the cha cha on your naked, prostrate body.
[Edit: There is a reason for both my choice of "mood" and currently playing music. Read on and you too shall know.]
The original article was posted to the site sometime on 5/19/16, likely in the morning. Thanks to our handy dandy Wayback Machine, here’s an early cache of the article, in case you want to see what people were upset about.
Here’s what is in the place of the article on XO Jane’s site now; specifically a notice of retraction and an apology from the site’s owner for having the temerity to post it without much oversight to begin with.
The problem was, taking down the article WASN’T the first thing XO Jane did when requested. First, they deleted the byline of Amanda Lauren to try to muddy the waters. That was done sometime between midnight and 7am EST on 5/20/16. Then the site turned the comments off… It wasn’t until it blew up quite a bit more on the vast arrays of tubes and wires through which we all communicate that it was finally taken down and that that apology was posted in place of the article. One has to wonder if the original draft to XO Jane didn’t even use a pseudonym for this alleged former friend. I predict that, as the apology is picked apart word by word, that the apology itself may undergo multiple revisions. I shouldn’t have said that… Apparently it already has gone through two published editions, according to Death and Taxes Mag.
MY FIRST REACTION TO READING THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE WAS TO REMEMBER THAT MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH AND TO WONDER WHETHER WE WERE ALL PRANKED AS A WAY FOR US ALL TO SEE THE ARTICLE, TALK SHIT ABOUT IT, AND IN THE PROCESS MAKE SOME REAL PROGRESS IN DEMYSTIFYING AND DESTIGMATIZING MENTAL ILLNESS. BUT NO, THAT ISN’T XOJANE’S STYLE.
The responses to the article being put out there by a variety of people were, on the whole, fantastic. There were many, many shouts of outrage, bouts of diarrheic vitriol, moments of introspection, vociferously worded petitions to take down the article, and other reactions that were generated in response to the article. It has been amazing, the outpouring of heartfelt feels. Most of the responses were written approximately 24 hours that the article was live on the site in either its attributable form or in its anonymous form.
Without listed them in order of when they encountered the article itself, these are some of the ones that I read today.
http://gomiblog.com/amanda-lauren-is-glad-youre-dead/
https://ajgoode.com/2016/05/20/my-response-to-xojane/
http://jezebel.com/xojane-publishes-terrible-article-by-a-woman-who-s-glad-1777778960?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+jezebel%2Ffull+%28Jezebel%29
https://medium.com/@melissamcewen/an-open-letter-to-xojane-about-my-former-friends-death-was-a-blessing-facdad00cfce#.c6eyakunh
http://jezebel.com/xojane-publishes-terrible-article-by-a-woman-who-s-glad-1777778960
http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/291339/xojane-amanda-lauren-my-ex-friend-is-dead-garbage/
http://themighty.com/2016/05/response-to-xojane-article-my-former-friends-death-was-a-blessing/
https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2016/05/20/open-letter-to-amanda-lauren-from-someone-beyond-help/
https://madgirlslament.com/2016/05/20/suicide-is-never-a-blessing/
http://www.hercampus.com/life/its-not-blessing-when-mentally-ill-people-die
https://haphazardcoffee.com/2016/05/20/i-have-schizophrenia-and-i-do-have-something-to-live-for/
http://www.pajiba.com/think_pieces/xojane-publishes-a-post-about-being-happy-a-mentally-ill-woman-died-alone.php
https://samambreen.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/we-are-none-of-us-beyond-hope/
http://www.mediaite.com/online/everyone-angry-over-that-xojane-piece-celebrating-a-mentally-ill-womans-death-is-right/
My absolute favorites were the ones where people chose to use the moment to introspectively tell us about their own, personal experiences will mental illness and their battle with suicidal ideation. While I was out searching and reading these articles, I found some more really great people who existence I am happy to learn coincide with mine on this earth.
What got me started on this relatively mild diatribe (The outrage speaks for itself, doesn't it?) was reading the discussion started by my friend Rob, aka @UnseenPerfidy. THANKS ROB – MY BRAIN NEEDED THIS EVALUATION, EXAMINATION, AND REAFFIRMATION BUCKSHOT OF POSITIVE OUTPOURINGS OF SUPPORT BY ALL THE STRANGE AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET.
Note: another article was brought to my attention by this reddit thread where the one was noted as seeming really strange. Part of that is, I think, the remaining, underlying guilt the author still feels about the friend’s suicide and her own survival from an attempted suicide.
Survivor's Guilt is a bitch in spike heels doing the cha cha on your naked, prostrate body.
