Hello out there
Apr. 26th, 2014 09:03 pmI'm pretty likely to get lost in the noise and I don't mind that much b/c I tend to like to keep a low profile anyway.
There are days when I fully embrace my introverted self, days when I want to crawl into a quiet shell with a cushioned floor and a nice book.
I learned young that books are fun, safe companions, and that going outside posed a danger to limb and life. (Funny how people always say life first. But if you lose that, what use are intact limbs?) I'm not sure if this reinforced my introvert tendencies or instilled something that mimics them.
I've heard tales of myself as a youngling that resemble the attitude of an extrovert, a leader of my peer group. I still will take the lead in small groups when no one else steps up, because someone has to. I saw this in study groups, tutoring, and in group assignments in my "returning adult" schooling, and during certain training exercises when I was in the military.
The sense that I lost something in the circumstances in which I grew upon results in periods of melancholy for the person I might have been, otherwise. Belief in an infinite multiverse wherein I could be that person, whoever she is, and the fact that I am in a loving relationship with my beloved, are the things that help me get through these periods. That and the assorted, far-flung people that I've connected with via the internet or in meat space, and my writing.
Thanks for listening.